Welcome To The Hellmouth
Opened: August 8, 2008
Welcome to Emily The Vampire Slayer, my name is Emily (surprised?) & this is my personal webspace that is free for me to say as I like in. You don't agree with my ramblings? That's fine, leave. I'm not out to offend or upset anyone but, like most, I'm very opiniated... that can often get in the way of my desire to be friends with everyone I meet because I won't drop my beliefs for anyone. Why should I? But feel free to take a look around and comment my blogs. Any questions, issues or complaints can be addressed here.
The Morning After
03.05.08
Well, okay, not technically morning anymore but I needed the sleep, after our journey on the train, I didn't get to bed until 4am. Pretty much everyone knows by now that last night I was in London seeing James Marsters play at the Union Chapel. What they didn't know, and neither did I, the unusual effect it had on me.
Last night, on stage, he was so sexy, so unbelievably sexy... and then he sang this song that was about his girlfriend and I nearly cried, it was like someone had broken my heart, I always knew he had a girlfriend, but you know sometimes, at the back of your mind, you still think: maybe there's a chance, maybe one day I can be his...
I was experiencing an amazing torrent of emotions sat there in the pews. However, I thought it was seeing him again after so long and the ambience of the old church, but this morning the feelings are only stronger. I think I'm going crazy, it's like I need him. The more I see him, the more I need to see him, like a drug. It's driving me insane and it's not even logical. He's an American actor who doesn't even know I'm alive and I'm obscenely, unconditionally and painstakingly in love with him. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants these feelings to go because they're not nice, they hurt so much, but the other half of me wants them, I've never felt any emotion so potent in my life as what I feel for him, it seems wrong, not to mention impossible, to let them go.
Also, Kafie can't stay over tonight anymore but she is being dropped off in the morning, so the Milton Keynes expedition is in full-swing. I can't wait to see him again and feel him hold me when we have the photos, he's so brilliant... so fucking brilliant. I've never had so much admiration for a man. I've admired many women for their beauty, sex appeal, wit, etc. But I've always had this lodge in my mind which wouldn't let me experience this for men because I never liked them very much. Fancied, yes, but not liked. James has changed that, I adore him and I live in a complete fascination of him. I love the way he looks: his hair, his cheekbones, his hands, his arms, his smile (my god), everything. But other stuff too like how funny he is, how sexy he is, how he grins when people applaud him and he looks really proud of himself, I like how he puts all his emotion into his songs, like he does when he's acting - I sometimes wonder if he fucks like that - I like how he can be both serious and silly and how some of his songs seem to have a double meaning that sounds kinda rude and he smirks as all the women scream. I guess I just love him.
Yeah, that's it, I do. And am I crazy? Most likely.